The blog

This year at E3 Nintendo demonstrated their newest Zelda game, Breath of the Wild. As soon as I saw the trailer I started theorising on when it takes place on the timeline, and it appears many other people have done the same, even making videos about it. Never one to not leap on a passing bandwagon, I'm tempted to make a video, but doing so takes a lot of time and effort. I'm definitely lacking in the former at the moment, so instead I'm writing this post. The Zelda timeline as written in the House Historia spurs into three due to Ocarina of Time: One where Link is defeated by Ganon/Ganondorf. One where Link defeats Ganon in the future, then disappears when he travels to the past. One where Link, now a child again, gets Ganondorf arrested and executed before he manages to actually commit a crime. As a side note, I find this a bit problematic. Twilight Princess takes place in that last timeline, and Ganondorf gets exiled to the Twilight dimension. However, since he wa

I have not played any Warcraft game, with the exception of World of Warcraft, which is incredibly boring due to it's nature as an MMO. So when I went into Warcraft: The Beginning, I knew nothing about it, apart from it being based on the games and directed by David Bowie's son. The story is that the Orcs are coming to the (world? country? continent? dimension? planet? The film is very unclear) of Azeroth using "fell" magic, which requires living sacrifices to work and corrupts the areas in which it is used. The Orcs, being war-like, want to ravage and conquer, taking more prisoners so that they can bring yet more Orcs through. The current denizens of Azeroth, who are primarily human, are not fans of this idea. That's about as much as I can say without going entirely into spoiler territory. This is in part due to the fact that the film covers so much in it's two hour run-time that it seems incredibly rushed. It's an odd paradox, where the film feel

Imagine me in 1991, 5 years old, watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. Shredder has managed to get the same ooze that created the titular turtles, and is about to use it to create two mutant underlings. "I'm going to see Rocksteady and Bebop in a film!" I probably thought, excitedly. He uses the ooze, and everyone in the cinema is greeted by Count Duckula, and Man-bear-pig. Fast forward just under 25 years. I'm going to turn 30 very shortly, and I am sitting in the cinema again, seeing Bebop and Rocksteady on the big screen, and having my seat intermittently kicked by some little shit young child who evidently has no manners. Dreams do come true, but they're never perfect, and often quite late. Much like getting Lego Sonic the Hedgehog. I think I should specify some important context: I do not care for Michael Bay. At all. I remember enjoying The Rock, but I wouldn't say it's memorable. I think I&#

X-men: Apocalypse is an interesting film, partially in how it can be compared to Captain America 3, which was released at roughly the same time. Whereas Captain America was, as described by some outlets, a political thriller disguised as an action film, X-men is undoubtedly and unashamedly a popcorn action film. This is not to say it isn't a good film, though. It knows what it wants to do, and does it well. Mostly. The film sees the latest iteration of the X-men cast (Fassbender et al) facing off against the semi-titular villain. Semi-titular because, though he is known as Apocalypse in the comics, cartoon, and games, in this film he is known exclusively as En Sabah Nur. He is a mutant, possibly the first one, who transfers himself between bodies, absorbing the abilities of the mutant he transfers into in the process. This is done using some kind of gigantic machine, which seems to be less of him using a mutant ability to transfer (which one would presume would not requi